Katie and her mental meanderings

Cycled to work again (go me!) and set off at roughly the same time as yesterday… and bizarrely passed the same two women perched in the same place on the wall by the hospital, smoking – and the same bus parked at the terminus on a side road. Yesterday it set off just as I cycled towards it, and today just as I cycled away – I must have been 10 seconds earlier today…

In other news had another paper rejected yesterday (boo!). Very frustrating. I’m starting to wonder if it’s worth bothering with this particular paper, as the data in it is already published in a chapter, though not in much detail; the only advantages would be papers are worth more points than chapters for promotion type thingys and department kudos, and it would be more convincing on a grant application. It’s been to about three different journals so far…

Currently watching: Teen Angels. Another happy ending from the team that brought you Little Angels. Harder with teens, though, because they have to cooperate and are more difficult to manipulate, er, modify the behaviour of. But a combination of firmness and self-knowledge seems to have won the day. I was a bit frustrated that the clinical psychs didn’t point out that the teenager’s pot smoking wasn’t just illegal and annoying, but dangerous, and they didn’t try and discuss the effect <i>that</i> might be having on his behaviour.

Later: Just come across http://www.storycode.com/index.php from someone else’s wiblog: looks like a good way to waste some time!

and I’ve so far kept to my resolution of cycling in even if I have stuff to carry – I had found I was making too many excuses why I couldn’t cycle in, even before Christmas when I had no reason to – but now it’s Spring and if I am seriously going to go for the Manchester to Blackpool Bike Ride (http://www.bike-events.com/manchester_to_blackpool.htm) then I’m going to have to get something into gear.

Just trying to get lots of admin done this week before going away next week on an actual holiday – I have the feeling my colleagues may not see the difference between being away sick, being away for work, and being away on holiday… but well, that’s not my fault. I think I must be a very very sad person because having filled in last year’s tax return online (a bit late because they only told me after the official deadline that I had to do my own – and I got a nice refund) I’m now itching to complete this year’s! And it’s not even April yet!

Also trying to write a book review for a book that could be about half the length – omitting about half the chapters – and would then be a) worth buying and b) a lot lighter and c) would actually have all its content relevant to the title. How do I say this politely?

he did tell me they weren’t going to put our names on the service sheet, but I’d forgotten. This is one of those things that are such a joy in married life – yes, I told you, no, you didn’t.

Our department is closed today and often this means all the lights in the corridors are off and always this means the secretaries and technicians aren’t in. Of course, I could easily get on with something at the office but I think discretion being the better part of valour, I’m going to play it safe and do some lovely marking at home. Four projects and about 12 essays should keep me busy, but I’ve also got some saved TV and radio to catch up on…

Currently reading: The Silent Traveller in Edinburgh, by Chiang Yee. A slightly obscure but really fascinating set of travel books, written between the 1930s and 1940s, this one is set in wartime Edinburgh, when the author, an exiled Chinese artist and writer, compares Scottish and Chinese history, architecture, and landscapes. It’s interesting to be the "young" country for a change as he talks about Chinese history hundreds of years earlier than the British history he compares it to.

Just finished: A Nice Girl like Me, by Abigail Bosanko. I bought this after liking her previous book – I wasn’t quite convinced it was as good – I think the heroine was not as interesting intellectually as the previous one – but I especially enjoyed the whisky information, and to some extent the description of life "after happily ever after" rang some bells (if you’ve read it, don’t worry, lots of it is nothing like us, and if you haven’t, I won’t give it away).

But we did go for a walk today. It was about 4 1/2 miles and it took nearly 3 hours – but it was up a very very very very steep hill – the highest near us, and there are is a lot of Up in the North, as I am discovering on bike rides too… much more Up on my way to work.

I have had a lovely bank holiday weekend, with cycling, walking, and chocolate (too much chocolate – I have a mouth ulcer, though it may be the paludrine (anti-malarials, having got back from overseas a week ago) rather than the chocolate. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. But (geeky medic-type fact) I thought I had the mouth ulcer/paludrine link broken since I’m taking folic acid (no immediate plans to "try" again but you are supposed to get topped up a few months in advance). Paludrine gives quite a lot of people mouth ulcers and at least one person other than me finds that Marmite helps, which has B vitamins in – including folic acid. So, I think it must be the chocolate…

Incidentally I know people have been thinking of us over the miscarriage and thanks – it means a lot when people are kind and pray etc. I feel a lot more like me than I did, both physically and emotionally, and having not been in the office much what with time off, holidays, and travel, I think it’s been good for me to have a break. I don’t feel quite as guilty, either, about noticing the advantages of not being pregnant.

Church has been both good and also hard – had a wobbly moment yesterday morning – we sponsored an Easter lily in memory of our baby, and first of all seeing the list of names made me feel sad, but then The Spouse™ had forgotten to tell me he had told them not to put our names, so I thought they’d forgotten us. But on the whole it was good. A very helpful piece on Woman’s Hour said that many women feel very close to Mary after having lost a baby, it being the Annunciation too that day, and this made me think quite a bit about her experience of the first Easter.